A Chance to Grow Little by Little in God's Love

I never thought that one ordinary day could change my life. Kasi habang nag-aaral ako for my last highschool Periodical examination sinabi na lang nina papa, mama at Kuya na mag LSS na raw kami ng younger brother at pinsan ko this summer. At first, I was so reluctant. I'm not good with strangers. I don't know what to do and how to act infront of people. Let's just say na sobrang mahiyain ako.
Syempre, not my will but God's will came to pass at ng LSS ako (buti na lang!!). Praise and Worship ang first sa agenda. Maybe ma we-weirdohan ako sa mga tao dun kung hindi ko nakikita ang parents ko ginagawa rin yon nung younger pa ako. I used to question them at nasasagot naman nila ako. Minsan ginagaya ko pero I really didn't understand the meaning of it. Pero during that time nahihiya akong gawin yon. Sobra. First, wala parents ko... wala ako karamay. Second, pati kapatid kong younger ayaw din magtaas ng kamay. Sa madaling salita gusto ko may karamay ako. Feel ko rin kasi pagtinaas ko kamay ko pagtatawanan ako. Ganyan talaga ang mentality ng karamihan sa aming mga mahiyain.
When I met my shepherd, Ate Clarissa Alejandrino, di ko alam gagawin ko. Tinanong ko ang kuya ko anong mangyayari pero ang sabi lang niya SECRET. Maslalo tuloy akong natakot. Bait ng shepherd ko (naks!!). She explained everything clearly kaya in someway, I'm really looking forward sa LSS.She gave me a ton of advices na talagang nakatulong. I opened up to my shepherd and I thank her a lot for her prayers.
I can't say I've changed completely. Tao pa rin ako nagkakamali pero at least now I know I can stand if I trust in HIM alone.
The exhortation every saturday were really good. Actually, every saturday, that's what I look forward to. One person would stay infront of us and share his personal experience with the Lord and helped me realize that there are people na mas grabeh pa ang pinoproblema kesa sa akin. Kaya ngayon pag sobrang down na down ako iniisip ko na lang na meron tao sa mundo na mas namomoblema sa akin.
I'm begining to love the praise and worships kasi the songs are really nice and meaningful sobra. It began to struck me one by one pero hindi pa rin ako nagtataas ng kamay. Hiya pa rin ako.
When the LSS came. At first, I felt nervous, but as time passes, Im begining to enjoy it. The Sharers were great. They struck my heart and made me realize how lucky I am. They fell down, rose, fell down again, and rose again, it could go on forever yet they didn't lose their faith and trust in God that they continue to come back to His love. It made me feel guilty at first. Kasi I'm a person kapag wala ng masisi, si God ang sisisihin ko. Pagnasira project ko, pagbumaba grades ko, at lahat pa ng kababawan ng mundo. Weird ko noh! and to think milyong-milyong tao ang may problemang mas malala pa sa project at grades. I realized how selfish I was.
One of my favorite bible story was The Prodigal Son, but I never saw it in the light before. Naisip ko. Bakit ganun? sa dami beses natin sinaway si Lord. He still welcomes us with open arms. Kahit ilan beses natin siyang saktan, pag ng sorry tayo, parang wala ng nanyari. Sa tuwing nahuhulog tayo, andun pa rin Siya handang sumalo sa atin. Weird? who could love someone so much like that? Nagpakamatay pa para sa atin. I guess no one could measure how much God loves us. Handa Siyang gawin lahat. And I thought the least thing I could do is love him back, follow His commandments and be ready to give up everything for Him like what he had done to us. Hirap grabeh! pero I'd take my chance in Him and no one else (naks!!!)
While the Baptism was taking place, bila akong kinilabutan. Di ko alam kung bakit pero as I started to feel it, I thought about mistakes I did and never did anything about it. I thought about the people I've hurt and how I never made the effort to apologize. Then I heard my shepherd say "Let it Go". I did and it felt good. I already started crying.
I only wished for one gift. the Gift of Tongues. I didn't know why. At first I was reluctant but when I heard the speaker to ask the Holy Spirit what gift you want, the first thing that came to my mind was Tongues and I didn't back out. When I was actually doing it, I started to cry harder. I can't believe it. I thought I was a bit too late to ask it pero God is good di ba...
This LSS made me realize a lot of things. I realized I have the chance to change. A chance to renew myself, A chance to start my relationship with God. I have a chance to correct my mistakes. I have a chance to grow little by little in God's love. I really love it.
Again, I can't say na I've changed completely. Syempre hindi siya total transformation di ba. It takes time but I'm proud of myself I took the first step and I'm not scared to take another one until I reach Jesus halfway.
The sucess of this LSS will not be possible if my Parents didn't introduced us to the community and for various reminders and advices. I thank them for that. Same with my older brother who surprised us by being one of the prayer leaders during the preparation for the LSS. (shock talaga ako!!) For the very beautiful, sexy and pretty Shepherd Ate Clarissa Alejandrino, for without her advices and prayers this could never take effect. I know there are more people behind it and I would like to thank them to. I'm very proud that I was a part of this LSS. Thank God He chose me. There's nothing more I can ask for.